Topper



Topper is a recurring minor character in Dilbert. Whenever anyone in Topper's earshot mentions any difficult task he or she accomplished, he barges into the conversation with a smug facial expression, exclaiming "that's nothing!". He then proceeds to top the other's statement with his own, obviously implausible or downright ridiculous, claim (insulating his house with cheese, implanting himself with insect organs so he can spin silk, getting such a sun tan that Brad pitt and Angelina Jollie adopt him, or passing a Gallstone so big it became the secretary of labor in Clinton's administration). He seems to be genuinely offended when the others express disbelief in his purported exploits. He allegedly cannot start a conversation, as he claims that it "ruins his system"

Sometimes he attempts to top things that are not good, as when hearing someone say they "only slept three hours last night" he bursts in and says that he hasn't slept in a year. He once told Asok and Steve that he strangled 900 insurgents with his bare hands.